Like every year, I had visions of early shopping and being
prepared to the point that I could take in the holiday season and just sort of
stroll from one holiday party to the other humming carols in the crisp air
while truly wallowing in the magic of the season. There was supposed to be
chestnuts on open fires, sleigh bells, yuletide carols and frosted window
panes. Instead, it’s been peperoni pizza, depressing meetings, honking horns
and the chilling temperature in the nation’s capital this coming Sunday is
supposed to be a frosty 74 Fahrenheit . Hell…most times this summer, my front
lawn wasn’t as green as it is right now. I hope Santa delivers his toys on a
red riding mower this year.
This year there was going to be relaxing nights by the fire,
glistening trees, sipping red-wine and visiting with friends while Frank and
Bing softly serenaded us with holiday favorites. In fairness, there’s been some
of that, but the truth is I’ve spent more time perusing internet gift sites and
stressing about all my undone shopping than hanging mistletoe or sipping egg
nog. Sure, I’ve numbed my brain by guzzling wine (pretty skipping the whole
glass nonsense) straight from the bottle most nights in December just to cope,
but in summary, despite the best laid plans, the season’s just been a complete
bust. Perhaps I should take comfort in numbers, as I cannot tell you the number
of people that I’ve heard say something like “this year…the holiday season just
got away from me.”
It’s not like I wasn’t aware of the compressed nature of the
holidays this time around. I’d heard Hanukkah was around Halloween this year
and that Thanksgiving was going to be in December, but somehow I just didn’t
adjust (for about the fifth year in a row, I didn’t even get my wife anything
for Hanukkah). At the end of the day, all that came my way this holiday season
was more stress…and for the record, that is the one thing that I already
possess in complete abundance.
Needless to say I was feeling pretty disgusted with and
sorry for myself. Even the little bit of holiday cheer I receive each year from
the 40 or so cards I receive (real cards…with a handwritten message) weren’t
providing the usual holiday boost. For one thing, there’s been less of
them (must be the Thanksgiving compression thing)…and most of notes just didn’t
seem as uplifting as usual. This past Tuesday I noticed a smaller card that at
first glance I didn’t recognize. It was from an old friend that usual doesn’t
send me a card. He was a guy I used to work with, and was one of the best I’d
ever had the privilege to be around. Though he probably never knew it, I
respected his grit, honesty and courage as much as anyone I’ve ever met.
The perfectly written cursive note shared that he’d received
my card…but that it had made him “sad.” He revealed that it made him think if
all the good times we’d had working together and referenced the camaraderie we
and the others in our crew had shared. He wrote about all the memories, and
much he missed being around the gang. Then, in his last line, he wrote
this. “I miss you and all the great people I worked with. Life has changed so
much since my stroke.” At the bottom of the card, it was clear he had struggled
to sign the card (written by someone else), with the printed letters of his
name.
As so often happens in my self-centered life, here I was
feeling sorry for myself and my otherwise care-free existence when an old
mentor with much bigger challenges had to show me…well…you get the point.
We’ve all got our crosses to bear, but if your biggest
concerns this holiday season are unwrapped presents and the A-Hole that just
cut you off on the express way, then pop in a Dean Martin CD, kick back by the
fire (actually if you live in the eastern U.S., you can put your bathing suit
on this weekend and head to the beach), and just chill. Whatever you’re dealing
with, there are hoards of people that probably have it worse so if you can, try
to think for a minute about those with bigger struggles. If you know somebody
that’s having a tough time, you might want to even give them a hug…or do at
least something to make them know you care. Don’t really know what that would
be, but I don’t have much time to think about it. I need to call an old work
buddy.
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