Friday, December 20, 2013

...and another holiday season just passed by in a blur

There were high-expectations for a relaxing and chilled holiday season this year, but despite those best of intentions, a quick glance at the calendar this Friday morning confirms that like every recent year, that holiday dream was simply pure fantasy. Sadly, though the feeling is probably exacerbated by the real-time experience, I’m pretty sure 2013’s hustle-and-bustle is the worst I’ve experienced to date. I so wanted a nice, slow, festive, and rejuvenating December...but once again…an indefensibly insane work schedule, everyday life, and my pitiful inability to plan conspired to mean it just wouldn’t happen. Again.

Like every year, I had visions of early shopping and being prepared to the point that I could take in the holiday season and just sort of stroll from one holiday party to the other humming carols in the crisp air while truly wallowing in the magic of the season. There was supposed to be chestnuts on open fires, sleigh bells, yuletide carols and frosted window panes. Instead, it’s been peperoni pizza, depressing meetings, honking horns and the chilling temperature in the nation’s capital this coming Sunday is supposed to be a frosty 74 Fahrenheit . Hell…most times this summer, my front lawn wasn’t as green as it is right now. I hope Santa delivers his toys on a red riding mower this year.

This year there was going to be relaxing nights by the fire, glistening trees, sipping red-wine and visiting with friends while Frank and Bing softly serenaded us with holiday favorites. In fairness, there’s been some of that, but the truth is I’ve spent more time perusing internet gift sites and stressing about all my undone shopping than hanging mistletoe or sipping egg nog. Sure, I’ve numbed my brain by guzzling wine (pretty skipping the whole glass nonsense) straight from the bottle most nights in December just to cope, but in summary, despite the best laid plans, the season’s just been a complete bust. Perhaps I should take comfort in numbers, as I cannot tell you the number of people that I’ve heard say something like “this year…the holiday season just got away from me.”

It’s not like I wasn’t aware of the compressed nature of the holidays this time around. I’d heard Hanukkah was around Halloween this year and that Thanksgiving was going to be in December, but somehow I just didn’t adjust (for about the fifth year in a row, I didn’t even get my wife anything for Hanukkah). At the end of the day, all that came my way this holiday season was more stress…and for the record, that is the one thing that I already possess in complete abundance.

Needless to say I was feeling pretty disgusted with and sorry for myself. Even the little bit of holiday cheer I receive each year from the 40 or so cards I receive (real cards…with a handwritten message) weren’t providing the usual holiday boost.  For one thing, there’s been less of them (must be the Thanksgiving compression thing)…and most of notes just didn’t seem as uplifting as usual. This past Tuesday I noticed a smaller card that at first glance I didn’t recognize. It was from an old friend that usual doesn’t send me a card. He was a guy I used to work with, and was one of the best I’d ever had the privilege to be around. Though he probably never knew it, I respected his grit, honesty and courage as much as anyone I’ve ever met.

The perfectly written cursive note shared that he’d received my card…but that it had made him “sad.” He revealed that it made him think if all the good times we’d had working together and referenced the camaraderie we and the others in our crew had shared. He wrote about all the memories, and  much he missed being around the gang. Then, in his last line, he wrote this. “I miss you and all the great people I worked with. Life has changed so much since my stroke.” At the bottom of the card, it was clear he had struggled to sign the card (written by someone else), with the printed letters of his name.

As so often happens in my self-centered life, here I was feeling sorry for myself and my otherwise care-free existence when an old mentor with much bigger challenges had to show me…well…you get the point.

We’ve all got our crosses to bear, but if your biggest concerns this holiday season are unwrapped presents and the A-Hole that just cut you off on the express way, then pop in a Dean Martin CD, kick back by the fire (actually if you live in the eastern U.S., you can put your bathing suit on this weekend and head to the beach), and just chill. Whatever you’re dealing with, there are hoards of people that probably have it worse so if you can, try to think for a minute about those with bigger struggles. If you know somebody that’s having a tough time, you might want to even give them a hug…or do at least something to make them know you care. Don’t really know what that would be, but I don’t have much time to think about it. I need to call an old work buddy.

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