...and there's still a few days to sit by fire

In my mind, this holiday season was going to be different. Despite a very bad trend in recent years of letting it all slip by way too quickly, this December I was going to learn from the mistakes of the past and really enjoy a nice, slow, festive, and rejuvenating holidays. Like a lot of blueprints this all looked good on paper, but as too often happens, the challenge of transferring that theory into action was again too much for me.

 

I've felt increasingly disgusted and resentful over the last few Decembers at the way I've allowed work and everyday life to somehow conspired to rob me of the holiday magic. Whether it’s the seeming 24/7 nature of the job, the inability to ever really unplug from technology (or work in general) or just the increasingly frenzied nature of everyday life, somehow what used to seem like a more relaxed time of year now somehow the craziest. As if that wasn’t enough, this year’s compressed time period between Thanksgiving and Christmas somehow seemed to collude with everything else to make it the shortest holiday season in my lifetime.

Like every year, I had visions of early shopping and being prepared to the point that I could take it all in and just sort of stroll from one holiday party to the other humming carols in the crisp air while truly wallowing in the magic. There was supposed to be chestnuts on open fires, sleigh bells, yuletide carols and frosted window panes. Instead, it’s been cheeseburgers, tense meetings, honking horns and my lawn is still greener than it often is in the summer.

This year there was going to be relaxing nights by the fire, glistening trees,  glasses of red-wine and visiting with friends while Frank and Bing softly serenaded us with holiday favorites. In fairness, there’s been some of that (two…maybe three nights so far), but the truth is I’ve spent more time perusing internet gift sites and stressing about all my undone shopping than hanging mistletoe or sipping egg nog. But just like recent years, and despite the best laid plans, the season’s been mostly a bust. At the end of the day, all that came my way this holiday season was more stress…and for the record, that is the one thing that I already possess in complete abundance.

I guess what is so incredibly sad is that I’m writing this post while working off last year’s draft. As a matter-of-fact, at least a couple of the sentences are simply cut-and-pasted from the post that appeared on 12/20/13. The worst part is I recognize this is a reoccurring  theme and even escalating trend , but for some reason I refuse to make the necessary adjustments that would alter the frustration that comes from letting it all slip away. I’m 53, which means I have at least that many (or is it 54) Christmases in my rearview mirror. I love the holiday season, but despite glaring evidence and repeated opportunities to alter the outcome, I continue to let the hustle and bustle rob me making it all that it should be.

Last night I was driving home from some speaking engagement thing that I moronically allowed to be scheduled one week before Christmas…on the third night of Hanukah. My wife has lit the candles each evening, but I haven’t been around to join in the ritual because I’ve been at work. Yesterday, because of my poor planning, I missed my two favorite holiday parties of the year…and traded them instead for a harried 2-hour commute (each way) and frayed nerves.

What’s the point of all this? Well, if nothing else, it seems to me that it shows that I’m apparently incapable of learning anything. It also might again show that I’m short on fresh material, as I had to rely on a previous post to come up with today’s blog. Whatever is behind it, there is still time to then pop Dean Martin CD (or whatever is the modern-day equivalent…I can’t keep track), kick back by the fire and just chill. It might be good too if you can avoid doing what I’ve done here by not feeling sorry for yourself.

Whatever you’re dealing with, even if it’s the disappointment that comes from yet another season that didn’t meet expectations, there are hoards of people that have it much worse than you. If you think about it, we’re all one diagnosis from making much of what we stress about all seem awfully trivial. So,  try to think for a minute about those with bigger struggles and if you know somebody that’s having a tough time, you might want to give them a hug…or do at least something to let them know you care.

Have a great holiday weekend…

Merry Christmas Baby...