The joint where we were is nice
enough for me, but one of the guys complained about the “dive” nature of the
place. We were having a blast nonetheless, and as always, it was a treat for me
to spend some time with a couple of true leaders that have literally forgotten
more about the work I’m supposed to know than I will ever fully grasp.
After sitting there for a couple
of hours laughing and telling multiple lies, one fellow mentioned that we
should probably go out to dinner. It was about 8:30pm on a school night, and
even though I was in my late 40s at the time…I remember feeling so high-browed
and important as we ventured out of the bar to have supper at a time when I’m
usually passed out at home on the couch. It was a bitterly cold December
night…so it took us more than a few minutes to gear up for the elements before
going out in the cold.
The wife of one of the guys was
just getting off work, so she generously offered to pick us up outside the bar
and spare us the uncomfortable walk over to the steakhouse. As we exited the
bar laughing and yucking in up, my friends wife waited for us double-parked in
the street. The parking spaces along the curb were full…so you had to make your
way between the parked cars to get to our waiting ride. I barely noticed but
there was a homeless guy passed out on the street in the gap immediately in
front of us (the shortest route to the waiting car) so I just nonchalantly
stepped over him and made my way to the warmth of the idling car.
My more civilized colleagues
actually walked around and we were all still laughing as we quickly piled into
the cozy Lincoln. Once we were all seated, my friend’s wife asked if that was a
man I’d stepped over on the sidewalk by the gutter.
“Yes”…I replied… “I guess so.”
“How could you just walk over
that guy like he wasn’t even there?” she protested… “it’s 10 degrees
outside.”
“What do you want me to do?” I
asked… “he was blocking my way.”
“Just take us to the restaurant
and don’t worry about it” my friend chimed in… “let’s go.”
“No!” she exclaimed… “I’m not
moving this vehicle until one of you has the decency to see if he’s OK. He
could be dead…it’s frigid.”
We contemplated just jumping out
and braving the elements by walking over to the swanky restaurant, but one of
the guys jumped out and walked over to the man lying on the pavement. The rest
of us watched out the window as my friend helped the man to his feet, appeared
to give him something…and then almost astonishingly, began laughing and
chatting with him before finally giving him a hug.
It was no inauthentic obligatory
partial clasp either…it was a genuine hug. BTW…there are plenty (maybe more)
downsides, but if you ever really wonder the benefits of something like red
wine…this was one of those moments it should be perfectly clear. My friend is
as good a man as anyone I know, but I’m not sure he would have done that had he
just spent the last two and a half hours drinking four glasses of whole milk.
As my friend climbed back into
the car, the rest of us just kind of sat there in disbelief and momentary
silence.
“Is he OK?” asked our almost
annoyingly concerned driver.
“Yeah…he was just sleeping…I
think he’ll be fine” responded my friend.
“What did you do exactly?” I
asked… “how’d you make him laugh and why in the world did you hug him?”
“I just helped him up…asked if
he’d be OK…and if he needed anything. He said he could use a drink…so I gave
him $20.00 and told him to get two. That’s when he started to laugh. I decided
to give him $10.00 more and told him to get something to eat too. He said it
was a great gift and wished me a Merry Christmas…so I just hugged him.”
You know…I think I’ll just stop
this story right here.
When I was younger and living in
Los Angeles, I would stop every Sunday morning at a Winchell’s donut shop on
the corner of Pico and Sepulveda (Across from Anwalt Lumber and the Oshman’s
Sporting Goods) while on my way to church in Santa Monica. I was working as a
union electrical apprentice at the time and always felt flush…so I’d take a few
extra bucks to buy a few nice cinnamon rolls that I’d randomly hand out to
homeless folks I’d see on the street in Santa Monica.
So far this season, and for about the next week or so, I'll continue to make the holiday party circuit moving from event to event, all complete with clinking cocktail glasses and platters of hot appetizers. At a couple of these affairs, they'll be ice sculptures worth more than my entire wardrobe. Somehow such experiences and my life in this city have hardened me to those less fortunate…and since that night described
above, I’ve coldly walked by hundreds of homeless people…including quite a few
folks just the other night while returning from a wonderful dinner in uptown
Manhattan. Now that I’m older and look back over the last few years, I wish I’d helped more people on cold nights in
December. But maybe I’ll get another chance over the next few weeks...and who knows...if I have enough wine…I might even give somebody a hug.
Happy Holidays…
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