There have been
more than a few postings here over the years that attempted to deal with the
astonishing deterioration of manners proliferated by people’s almost
frightening preoccupation with mobile devices. Actually, much of what’s been
written here has been about my own etiquette decay in that area, but recently I
attended a meeting and several associated social events that convinced me that
things really are coming off the rails.
There were probably
about 150 people at this meeting when it started, and though folks were mildly
engaged when it began, it wasn’t long before
people’s faces were illuminated by the antiseptic cool-white glow of their iPhones, Galaxy 4 mini flat screens and even some
Blackberrys. It wasn’t much longer before the tablets, netbooks and even small
laptops broke out…and by the end of the meeting, I think several bored participants actually set up Desktop
computers and laser printers on their classroom-style tables. At one
point I walked about the room and counted 116
people that were looking at some sort of device rather than engaging in the
discussion. There may have been more…but I only spotted six people that
appeared to be looking up, with no device to distract them from the
presentations and what was supposed to be an
interactive experience.
A good buddy of mine shared what he called his
“Blackberry Rule” with me more than a couple of years ago when the once
unthinkable practice of pulling your phone out to stare at it while in the
company of another human started to catch on. I was lamenting my wife’s
frustration with my practice of checking my phone within the first few minutes
of our evening conversation after a 12-hour work day, when my friend passed along the guidelines of the rule. Essentially, it
states that you shouldn’t pull out your phone to check it in any situation where
you wouldn’t otherwise open the paper and start doing a crossword puzzle. In
essence, if you’re sitting across from another human being having a
conversation, you probably wouldn’t open the newspaper (remember those)
and start solving the puzzle...so…don’t pull out and stare at our phone.
Now that
may be too much to ask for in a meeting where people are
speaking to you or sharing a presentation they’ve worked on, but certainly it
has some merit when you’re sitting with an individual or
smaller group of people where you’d think each other’s company should be enough
to hold people’s attention.
One night after the meeting, about half-a-dozen
colleagues went out to dinner one evening at a nice place not
terribly far from the host hotel. As we sat around the restaurant table, it was
astonishing how many of the diners were looking down at their phones. Now, if
you’ve ever had me for a dinner companion you can probably feel their pain, but
really, why go through the rigmarole of even going out and having a meal together if everyone is just going to stare at their phones? Couldn’t
you do that in the comfort of your room…or perhaps at some establishment as an individual diner where you don’t have to sweat
having to divert your attention from cyberspace long enough to look someone in
the eyes and have a conversation?
Listen, I’m no prince when it comes to exhibiting model
mobile device etiquette, but if you even go to dinner with me, you can rest
assured I’ll stare at my phone no more than 20% of the time. Some days, when I
harken back to the basic manners I learned in kindergarten, you might even get
me through the entire evening without me ever once checking
my phone.
It’s Friday, so take a minute to look up from your mobile
device long enough to connect
with the people and pets around you through
something other than your keyboard. Then, after you’ve burned those 10 minutes,
go ahead and get back
online…24/7…no matter who else is around.
...not so many years from now.
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