It’s not like there weren’t early warning signs of what was
to come. After teaching all day Tuesday up near Baltimore, MD, I flew out of
Washington National after a 2 ½ hour weather delay down to Fort Lauderdale to
do a presentation that was scheduled for the following morning at 8am. . It was
supposed to be a quick trip, as the return flight back to DCA was scheduled for
Wednesday afternoon at about 2pm…just a few hours after my scheduled talk was
to end. Getting back home was critical, or at least it seemed that way to me,
because I had committed to being back in class first thing Thursday morning
to finish out the week up near Baltimore with the original group.
When I arrived at the swanky Florida beachside hotel about
11pm, I was looking forward to settling in for a few hours rest before waking
at 4am for an anticipated ocean-side run and some pre-presentation prep work. At check in the front desk clerk was courteous and
competent, and she warmly welcomed me back to the property as she handed me the
card key and instructed me to go to room 1705. I thanked her, asked for a
bottle of water and hurried up the elevator anxious to get some needed sleep.
The signs in the 17th floor elevator lobby were
very clear, but I somehow managed to turn left even though the arrow to the
group of rooms where mine was located clearly pointed to the right. After
wandering for a while on the wrong end of the hall, I did an about-face and
headed the right direction. Finally I was standing in front of door #1705.
That was the good news. The bad news was I didn’t see
anywhere on the door or the lock mechanism were you would insert or slide the
key. I examined the door for a good number of minutes, and even opened my
briefcase and pulled out my reading glasses to try to discern what was
happening. I even looked at some of the other doors…including one with a “Do
Not Disturb” sign hanging on the handle which provided me some comfort that
there was indeed a way to gain entrance.
I was still stumped though, and while I’m hardly Platinum
hotel status in the Hilton Honors program,
it’s not like I don’t do a fair amount of traveling and
I like to fashion myself as fairly adept with the latest and greatest
hotel keycard technology. I finally got down on my knees…and used my cellphone
light app to illuminate the lock mechanism. That’s when I spotted what looked
like an small infrared eye…and it dawned on me that perhaps all you had to do
was hold the key up to the eye and the door would unlock. I know what you’re
thinking…and yes…I am borderline genius. So…eagerly, I held the blank key card
up to the eye and like magic…I heard a faint beep.
Crap…isn’t the little light supposed to be green and not
red? I tried the handle and it was still locked. So…I kept doing the exact same
thing over-and-over and expecting a different result…but every time I held the
key up to the eye…the door beeped and the light blinked red. Every time I tried
the handle…the door was still locked. But I don’t give up easy…and I never want
to let the fact that just because everything I been doing hasn’t worked
force me to alter my determined course. So,
like some kind of possessed moron…I kept repeating the motion over-and-over-and
–over somehow hoping things would be different and that if I just tried long
enough…the door would eventually open. That’s not how things usually work
though, and just like the unmistakable wake of experience in my life that has proven this over time, I eventually concluded
that no matter how many times I tried this same operation, I probably wasn’t
getting in this room…with this keycard.
Believe it or not my already sunny disposition was starting
to deteriorate, so I hopped back on the elevator and went to the front
desk…promising to keep my cool and to try to be polite. As I approached the
desk the woman that had checked me in said… “oh I’m so sorry…was there a problem?” I politely responded that it
was no big deal, but that the key simply didn’t work. She called over a
supervisor that seemed generally perplexed, and she checked the key
several times to verify that it indeed worked just fine on her stupid little
front desk machine.
She then asked if I was contending that someone was already
in the room…to which I responded that I didn’t know…but that the key simply
didn’t work. Remarkably I kept fairly cool and even managed to smile. I finally
did get impatient, and pointed out to her that I needed to get into my room,
not into the computer at the front desk. I explained it might be easier for her
to understand if she’d simply accompany me to the door and see for
herself how the key worked on 1705. She smiled and said she’d be happy to…but
that after we tried that it might be smarter to try the key on my actual
room…which was 1708. She then pointed at the little envelope that holds the
card which was clearly marked with 1708…not 1705. I then accused them of
swapping out the number on the envelope (which I did look at upstairs), but
they weren’t buying it.
I know what you’re thinking…maybe I’m not a genius.
Well…you’re right…and this was just the start of a trip that except for the
presentation part, deteriorated into a travel hell which included; a six-hour
mechanical return flight delay, eight hours inside the airport on an otherwise
gorgeous South Florida afternoon, an eventual cancellation, a night in a flea
infested flop house operated by Comfort Suites and an alarmingly bland
Filet-of-Fish sandwich from a McDonald’s on Federal Highway just north of the
A1-A.
Then there’s the whole rear tooth thing…but I’m going to
stop right here because you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. And just for the sake of truth in advertising, it wasn't the actual tooth...it was the crown for tooth #33.
It’s Friday, and if you’re ever stuck overnight in Fort
Lauderdale, don’t stay at a hotel near the airport on Federal Highway (at least
not the Comfort Suites) and don’t take a walk down to McDonald’s for a combo
#16 (I didn’t even know they went that high). Oh yeah…if you do go to
McDonald’s and order any one of their 16 healthy combos, quickly scream no when
they inquire if you want to “go large.”
Have a great weekend, and if you don’t have to travel, be
happy and take in all of the comforts of being at home.
There are multiple versions of this old gem and perhaps the most popular one is by Brenda Lee. Bing Crosby, Sammy Davis Jr. and North Dakota's Peggy Lee took a stab at it too...but for some reason, this version might be the one I like the best.
You'll see your castle in Spain through your window pane
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