It all started with an uncomfortable early morning meeting, followed by another couple of related follow-up conversations. Before long it was 10am and I’d already been through the gauntlet. On top of all that I'd managed to disapoint a couple of good people that I admire, so after being back for only a couple of hours, it felt awfully good to be back from vacation and squarely back in the saddle.
At about 10:30 I was discussing some pressing work-related stuff with some colleagues when I, as I normally do, rudely looked at my iPhone to check email. As is too often the case this days, the pressure mounted as there were already about 20 unopened message in the queue. But one in particular caught my eye. It was probably because it was from a dear friend that doesn’t send me a whole lot of email…but the daunting subject line also grabbed my attention. It read simply…Very Sad News. While pretending feebly to continue the conversation with my workmates, I opened the email and read the following message:
I’m very sorry to put this in an e-mail, but I just heard that ***** ******** died last night. I am in complete shock. It sounds as if this was sudden, but to be honest I don’t know.
I let you know of any arrangements when I hear. Too much of this lately
Now I don’t possess the talent to convey how short the period of time was that actually elapsed after reading that email before everything that conspired to complicate my morning instaneously became unimportant. Though trying to continue the conversation with my colleagues, I was suddenly trying to process the fact that yet another friend and mentor (not much older than me), had passed away unexpectedly. Like the friend that sent the news…I was genuinely blindsided. Just about three weeks ago I’d spent an epic afternoon with him and a couple of other friends at a beautiful riverside home in Virginia. We laughed, drank, told jokes, lied, played music, spent time on the water, enjoyed great food, lied again and drank some more. He was right there in the middle of it…having a fabulous time…and now…he was gone.
Like too many of the friends that have left this world of late, he taught me a good deal. Most importantly, he treated me better than I deserved…and always made it a priority to get together. He also made it a point to introduce me to his circle of business associates…all of them at a level well-above me…all for the betterment of my career. I never understood why he was so good to me…he just was. He was also the quintessential professional that did better than good work for the organization he served…and the byproduct of his accomplishments provided a mountain of financial security for his organization and the hundreds of thousands of people dependent on his decisions and expertise.
I'll never understand any explanation for why good people are plucked from the living well-before their time…at least it will never make sense while I’m walking this earth. Perhaps someday when I’m shoveling coal for eternity the need for good people to check out too soon while so many others are left behind will make some sense, but there certainly doesn’t seem to be any logic behind it right now. If there needs to be some population thinning I can happily provide a list…but the need to keep taking so many good ones prematurely is really starting to drag me down.
Later on Wednesday a few of us were reflecting on the day’s events, and the fact that in a virtual nanosecond, the fragility of life can flip priorities upside down and render seemingly significant problems almost instantly meaningless. I was thinking how helpful it would be if the lessons learned from these painful losses would stick, and truly influence my dealings with people, or work, or just about anything I face over the long haul. Sadly though, if the failure to read the many signposts of late is any real indicator, I already know that won’t happen. As it always does, little more than a few days will pass before I’m sweating the things that should be kept in perspective, especially juxtaposed to another life extinguished well before its time.
As noted above there were a lot of great things about Terry…but one of the best was that he was a great conversationalist. He always asked a lot of questions…and one of the ones he once put to me was about my favorite vocal standard song. When I told him without hesitation he was shocked…and claimed it was also one of his true favorites as well. This morning's song is that very number...performed by the shared favorite artist.
Have a good weekend…take it easy…do the things that count…and do them with the people that matter most to you. Everything can change in one heartbeat. Everything.
For Terry
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