...and you're due for a really nice weekend

“Thank you for treating me well when so many others would not. Thank you for always being friend.”

There were probably one or two entries in my 1980 Hamilton High senior yearbook that made me feel better at the time, but with the passage of some thirty years, there isn’t one than means more now. I didn’t think about it much back then, but the scribbled lines by my quirky and often tormented friend Mike Earle* mean the world to me now. I suspect that’s true for a number of reasons, but sadly, the words are also yet another vivid example of how far I’d come…and how far I’ve since drifted off the rails.

Like too many of my peers back in elementary school,  I could be pretty darn mean…especially to kids that were perpetually picked on. Back in the early grades, god help the poor child that contracted cooties.  I could be merciless…however even early on, it never seemed right to me when the masses piled on. Once in a while I’d cruelly join in, and once in a blue moon I’d step in and stop it. Too much of the time there simply wasn’t the courage  to stand up, and simply by inaction, I’d condone it through silence. I don’t think about it all the time, but every once-in-awhile I’m haunted by the faces of the kids that were treated poorly. Even now, when walking by a schoolyard or a group of kids at some large group event, the punishing behavior exhibited by some children towards others can be heartbreaking. I often observe hoping some kid will step in…too often though…they react like I did…and nothing happens.

Thankfully, for reasons that are not quite clear, my bad behavior and inaction largely improved sometime during junior high school. Without explanation, my sensitivity to this issue was somehow heightened. As a result, I increasingly felt a calling to befriend those (that’s remembering it fondly…it was probably just being civil) that were often ostracized by others. Again…I have no explanation as to why. It could have been the consequence of listening to a litany of Sunday morning sermons by the Reverend Don Shelby while sitting in the first row of the balcony of Santa Monica’s First United Methodist Church, or perhaps it was just a growing aversion to meanness that progressively bothered me while inching toward adulthood. The responsibility of being nice was also part of my strict father’s code, who reminded almost daily of the duty to treat others better than you expect to be treated yourself. Sadly, though committed to this practice through a good portion of my 20s and 30s, there is mounting evidence of a long, and now accellerating abandoning of that noble standard.

It is tempting to blame this general deterioration on a litany of external factors, and while there may be some legitimate minor contributing forces that have precipitated the regrettable slide, the true cause of the de-evolution can be found right next to the source of most of my problems, squarely in the mirror. With this acknowledged culpability, it would be grand to declare it’s all going to change tomorrow (actually…today would be even better), but the fact-of-the-matter is the decline is still in progress…and it’s not particularly clear (at least to me), how to turn it around.

 Perhaps for starters…I’m just going to try to be a little nicer. It’s a heavy lift, because most of the time, that’s not what comes naturally. There’s a radio program every Sunday on WPFW at 2pm called the American Songbook hosted by the velvet voiced longtime DJ Donnie McKethan. Each Sunday for two hours, McKethan plays the likes of Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Nat King Cole, Dean Martin, Johnny Hartman, Julie London, Frank Sinatra…and so many others. As a matter of fact, you can listen to an archived show right here by clicking American songbook (you may have to click around a bit but if you choose American Songbook…you’ll get the show). At 4pm each Sunday, the veteran vinyl spinner signs off by saying “Be very kind to one another…” Now…that actually doesn’t sound too hard…so starting today….I’m going to try. It’s been awhile…but maybe I can find that guy from Hamilton High School. I don’t see him anywhere in the mirror…but maybe he’ll show up if I’m just a little bit nicer.  

Have a great weekend…and if you can…start if off with the type of gem you can catch each Sunday from 2-4pm on WPFW FM.

You are too beautiful for one lucky fool...

*Name changed