It wasn’t always this way, but it seems like there’s seldom a time anymore when I’m not connected to the internet. Whether it’s the countless hours in the office, the decreasing amount of time spent at home, or even when on the road or visiting my mom in California, the laptop is usually open and connected to the web. The other day it was open on the top of the upright piano, so I could monitor the Stanley Cup playoff hockey game as I played. I don’t even watch trash TV anymore without the laptop open. That way, just like a crystal-meth addict, I can check my emails every few minutes. The messages can be monitored between surfing internet golf discount sites, checking out craigslist adds for motorcycles, or while reading various articles on subjects ranging from Dale Carnegie communication tips to quick weight loss tricks…or while watching videos on how to make the best beignets Cafe Du Monde. Best of all, this can all take place while enriching my brain by passively watching NASCAR, the New Jersey Housewives or shows about fishing in 35-foot waves during a blizzard on the Bering Sea. Using this model, I’m always connected…and I rarely miss an email…even one sent on the tail-end of a long 3-day weekend.
Just after 10pm EDT this past Memorial Day, I was sitting on the couch mainlining Cabernet and lamenting the return to work while watching Deadliest Catch (if couch sitting were an Olympic event, you’d see me on the podium regularly) when I heard the unmistakable ping of a new email in my Outlook Inbox. Suddenly, I lunged for the computer and noticed there was an message from the Business Manager of my old IBEW local union in Los Angeles. The email read simply:
mayor ledford (58) suffered a heart attack late afternoon/early eve yesterday.. Mitch got a call at 9pm, he then went in for angioplasty this morning.. We don't know much more, we'll update you as we do..
Thankfully, in the days that followed, reports from California indicate the mayor should be OK. This is important to me for several personal reasons, because he as much as anybody served as a mentor in both my personal and professional life. He has been the mayor of Palmdale, California for many years, and shepherded that city through prosperous boom years and several devastating real estate busts. In an often volatile and unforgiving political climate, his unwavering commitment to the residents of the south Antelope Valley and the manner in which he conducted his leadership charge provides valuable lessons which I feebly attempt to emulate almost daily.
The starkest lesson from the email and its sobering content is one that has been a familiar theme in these rarely read and poorly written Friday posts. Though these paragraphs (or at least the closings) often attempt to highlight the fragility of life and the paramount importance of focusing on what really matters, I display the quintessential “don’t lead by example” model and routinely demonstrate the exact opposite set of priorities. Despite repeated and glaring reminders that our time on earth is precious, I waste too much time worrying about work-related stuff…ignoring all the vivid lessons regarding the consequence of losing perspective…and literally flipping the priority pyramid upside down. Sure…commitment to one’s job is important and noble, but if you think your deathbed is going to be circled by the same people that are sitting around the table in the conference room, you really are smoking way too much crack.
Given what seems like a plethora of daily signposts peppering my face like blowing sand from an Antelope Valley high desert dust storm, you’d think I’d adjust and get busy focusing on the things we know in our hearts matter most. Sadly though, my life is littered with repeated examples of the results that come from disregarding such warnings. I’m not sure what it will take for me, but someday, perhaps as they’re wheeling me into the cardiac care unit, if I’m lucky the epiphany will hit me just before they get the stent in place. The good news for you is that you’re almost assuredly smarter than me, so please take notice of the signs all around you that literally scream the need to put the things that matter most first.
This weekend, close the lid on your laptop and put away the smart phone for a while and enjoy the people and pets that make life worth living. Walk the dog, take in your kid’s T-Ball game, golf with some old friends, hold hands (but maybe not with your golfing buddies), have dinner with your family, paddle down a river, hug a grandkid, go for a bike ride with someone you care about, spend time with a nephew, sit by the pool, have a chat with your sister, call a parent…and tell somebody (even your golfing buddies) you love them…maybe even twice. You can start all this by slowing down a bit, closing your eyes and listening to some music (Ironically...you'll need your computer to do it this way). You’ll have to set aside a full 3 and a half minutes, and despite your sense that you have way too much to do, you will have a better day if you start it like this. As an added bonus, it will also make you better at dealing with all that work you believe matters so much. It’s a guarantee…and you don’t receive many of them anymore. .
Have an enjoyable and well-deserved weekend.
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