Friday, April 13, 2012

...and every day...we lose a little more style

The popular AMC’s Television series Mad Men effectively depicts both the good and the bad of the 1950s and early 60s era. However the show’s dapper lead character Don Draper, has at least contributed to a romanticizing of period’s style and fashion. Thin ties, elegant dresses, felt hats, tailored suits, Lucy Strikes and Martini shakers dominate each episode, and you can’t help but watch the show without noticing you don’t see any more in the real world  what you see each week on the show. This past weekend was a perfectly good example.
Last Friday,  (Good Friday), my wife and I were sitting at the bar of nice restaurant here in town when three kids that looked like they could have just as well been wearing Pampers walked in sporting swaddling clothes and flip-flops and took the remaining open stools to our immediate right. The bartender checked their respective IDs, and I heard him say “1991…yep…you’re good.” Apparently if you were born sometime last week before April 13th, 1991, it’s OK to drink alcohol. I wasn’t really listening when the kids ordered, but the cocktails prepared by the bartender (who also looked to be about 12), were some sort of fluorescent colored concoctions that looked better suited for the crowd at Chuck e Cheese. The toddlers finished their Shirley Temples in about two minutes…and slithered out the door to continue their adolescent adventure…no doubt three Red Bulls with a shot of Hawaiian Punch and a splash of lime-flavored rum (with cinnamon on the rim).
My wife asked what they had ordered, and the bartender named each drink (none of which we’d ever heard of) and described the largely sweet contents of each cocktail. Two of them were rimmed with sugar and cinnamon. The bartender went to explain that the drinks were actually pretty popular with young people, and I can’t help but think Mad Men’s Don Draper would have walked out simply on principle.
After this experience I got up on Saturday feeling old and limped down to the couch and begin the day. I really should have brushed my teeth, but my back hurt and I was tired, so I just grabbed a Maple Leaf cookie instead. I flipped open the laptop and googled the top 10 drinks, and quickly found out there are a hundred such lists containing many concoctions I’ve never heard of…including a Caribbean Breeze, Ruby Relaxer and a Fruit Tingle. I then searched for the top ten songs…and that list was even worse. I’m not making this up…I was zero for ten. It’s not like they even sounded vaguely familiar either. They are the top ten songs…and I don’t know one of them…and only recognize about two of the so-called “artists.”
1.     Some like you – Adele (Heard the name…but couldn’t pick her out of a lineup. I can guarantee I’ve never heard the song)
2.     Call me maybe – Carly Ray Jepsen (Call me stupid, but I don’t have a clue about the song of Carly Ray)
3.     Part of me – Katy Perry (Nope…no part of me has ever heard of the song or the singer)
4.     Rolling in the deep – Adele (How could two of the top 4 be from someone I don’t recognize?)
5.     Set Fire to the rain – Adele (This can’t be happening)
6.     Somebody that I used to know – Gotye (Nobody I ever knew or know now. Never heard of her/him/it…NEVER)
7.     Boyfriend – Justin Bieber (Finally…I have heard of her)
8.     What makes you beautiful – One Direction (Presuming it’s a group…but I don’t know…don’t recognize the song of the singer/group)
9.     We are young – Fun (I am not young…and I don’t know the song or the group. Really now…could Fun honestly be their name?)
10.  Take Care – Drake (Unless it’s the hotel in Chicago…I’m drawing a blank here. Don’t know the song…and have no idea is a him or a her)
I then searched for the top 10 movies. This wasn’t quite as bad…but still…most of the top flicks were news to me.
1.     Hunger Games (A couple of teenage colleagues mentioned this recently…but until then, I’d never heard of it)
2.     Wrath of the Titans (“Remember the Titans” maybe…but unless this is the sequel, this means nothing)
3.     Mirror Mirror (No clue No Clue)
4.     21 Jump Street (Old TV show maybe…but a movie?)
5.     Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (Cat in a Hat yes…Lorax…no)
6.     John Carter (Again…Jimmy or Billy yes…John no)
7.     Salmon Fishing in Yemen (Never heard of it…but honestly, just by the title…you’re thinking what I’m thinking…Zzzzz)
8.     Act of Valor (Vaguely familiar…is this the SEAL flick?)
9.     A Thousand Words (I’m drawing two thousand blanks…NEVER heard of it)
10.  Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (Presuming it’s not the music group…never, ever heard of this movie or even Journey 1)
Thankfully, on Easter morning, I was back in more comfortable territory. Early on Sundays, AMC shows reruns of  Mad Men,  and on this episode, Don Draper and his wife (Betty) were at a classic old-school restaurant when the waiter came over and took their order. She asked for a vodka gimlet, and he ordered a Manhattan…straight up. Betty then proceeded to ask for “the filet of sole,” and Don followed by requesting “the lobster.” This caught my ear, for several reasons. First and foremost, the two drinks, the gimlet and Manhattan, were the exact two cocktails my mother and Dad often ordered. The classic way the Draper’s  were dressed also brought back memories, as both my father and my mother would never think of going out without their Sunday best. All this got me lamenting once again about the demise of style…and how the things I grew up loving are all fading away. There is this sense that the game is passing me by, and I can’t help but linger a bit each time I pass the Sunrise Assisted Living facility on Connecticut Ave.
A little later on Easter morning, the otherwise glorious day and my now seemingly trivial thoughts were instantly transformed by the shocking news of a colleague, mentor and friend’s untimely passing. Some of you that read this regularly will know who it is, but at least for this public venue, the identity of the person for those that do not strikes me as neither useful or particularly  appropriate. He did however epitomize style, and when he walked into any room, he carried with him a cache of class that would make Don Draper feel like first-year cub apprentice. The best part of him to me though was the way he treated people like me…and I can only hope to emulate his mastery of that skill in some very small way.  His passing was yet another reminder of the fragility of life, and how the most special of people can be zapped from this earth in a literal instant, in ways that at least to me, will never be explainable or fair. Never.
Anyone that knew him well will miss him for a long time…but like most of these teachable wake up calls, the glaring lessons of such loss will stick with me for way too short of time. For a few weeks, I’ll probably remember to greet folks with a warm hello and to treat them a little better too. For about a week or so, the importance of family, friends, balance and life outside of work will be in the forefront of my mind. There will even be a couple of days, where I fantasize about what else I could or should be doing, but that will fade quickly…and it won’t be long before I’ve flipped the priority pyramid back upside down.
Have a great weekend…and if you can…try to take a few moments to do the things that matter most. Live, laugh, love and dance like nobody is watching. With just one bad phone call, text message, or diagnosis, much of the stuff we too often stress about will become instantly unimportant.
A few months back, a couple of us were at one of the nicer old-school restaurants in town  when my friend asked the owner if I could play the piano the next time the regular guy took a break. I wrote about here shortly after it happened, and at least to me, it was magical. One of the songs I played was this one…and when I finished and walked back to the bar…he smiled and said “Autumn Leaves…now that’s one of my favorites.”

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