Sometime last summer…maybe even before that, I accompanied my wife to a local bookstore on Connecticut Avenue called Politics and Prose. Unlike me, my wife is a voracious reader, and she literally goes through books faster than anyone I know. Thanks to a severe internet addiction to useless infromation and a welcome proliferation of trash television, I have not found the need to waste much time reading. There are times however when even the “Orange County Choppers” or “Gold Rush” reruns get old, and I actually regress to the point where I resign myself to killing time with books.
So…when I joined my better-half at the bookstore on that day months ago, I was hoping to make the visit tolerable by spending time in the periodical section with the latest editions of NASCAR Weekly and Field and Stream. However as I climbed the stairs up from the store’s basement coffeehouse, I fortuitously noticed a book on the shelf at the top of the staircase titled “Choosing Civility.” It took me about four or five months to finish it (with Housewives shows in New York, New Jersey, Atlanta and Beverly Hills…there’s little time for books), and it really was truly enjoyable. I read it concurrently with a fiction book by James Lee Burke (usually only read fiction on weekends or when I travel)…so the point is that I only need about two or three of these non-fiction (non-TV time) books a year. So, after completing Choosing Civility I was eager to replace the non-fiction book so I made a return visit over to Politics and Prose this past Sunday to pick one up.
The store…which sits at 5015 Connecticut Ave just north of Cleveland Park in Washington, DC, is a certifiable classic. It’s actually been referenced in the comic strip Doonesbury of late…and the place really is quite the quintessential old-school bookstore.
As I noted above, there is also a coffeehouse downstairs that is usually inhabited by more than a few gray ponytailed folks with berets who sip lattes while staring at their laptops. The store itself is usually filled with intellectual types, and with a book event planned at 1pm on this particular Sunday, it looked like a scene right out of a set on CSPAN (see previous post). The place was crawling with a bunch of bearded, tweed sports-coat wearing, white-haired peaceniks that likely spent a couple of August days near White Lake, New York before returning to their pretentious Ivy League schools in the fall of 1969. It was also just minutes before the AFC Division Championship game (living just minutes away…I knew I’d be home in time for kickoff), so you can imagine how the group looked that voluntarily chose to participate in a book event instead of watching an NFL playoff game. I hate to stereotype…but I’m guessing most in this group had never watched a WWF Smackdown or monster truck event, let alone possessed the requisite skills needed to change their motor oil or field-dress a Buck. I could go on-and-on…but let’s just say you can probably safely bet that not one person in the store this day owned even one piece of camo clothing.
They were gathered to hear speaker Natalie Wexler, who apparently lives in the Politics and Prose neighborhood. She also recently wrote a book called “The Mother Daughter Show." Ms. Wexler mentioned in her opening remarks (I didn’t want to listen but I couldn’t help but eavesdrop) that she had a couple of kids that attended the prestigious Sidwell-Friends school where the “First Family’s kids go.” Needless to say…I was dying to get home and turn on the Speed Channel or at least a few minutes of Man vs. Food.
I was just about to bolt when I spotted the self-help section on the back, right-hand side of the store. On the bottom shelf was a lone copy of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” and right above it to the left was a powder blue book entitled “The Art of Conversation – A Guided Tour of a Neglected Pleasure.”
The book was a bit bigger than I typically like (too many pages…and worse…no pictures), but I couldn’t help but be intrigued by the title. I picked up the book and read the jacket, which essentially contended that fundamental conversational skills are becoming rare in an era where folks would rather stare at their smart phone than converse face-to-face. This is a problem, because the more conversational skills deteriorate, the better option a mobile device becomes for anyone faced with the choice.
For the most part I sleep fairly well, but to the degree I’m haunted by my myriad of shortcomings, nothing keeps slumber at bay more than thoughts of how much my conversational skills have dwindled (OK...worse things keep me up...but it sounded good for this post). My deficiencies manifest themselves in a litany of ways, but in a paramount tribute to rudeness, I routinely pull out my phone and glance at it amidst a conversation, repeatedly fail to listen and incessantly interrupt when I should be waiting my turn. I won’t bore you with all the highlights of the book (and...then there's the problem that I haven't read it yet), but as I wade into the opening chapters I’m reminded of a previous post where an article from the website The Art of Maniless was cited. That particular piece included five dos and don’ts, and as I reviewed it again this morning in anticipation of this writing, I was horrified at my tendency to routinely violate the basic principles…especially the don’ts. Below is a quick list of those don’ts and a couple of thoughts on each.
5 Don’ts of Conversation
5 Don’ts of Conversation
Don’t interrupt.
Excuse me…but I need to share something quite relevant and if I don’t say it now…I’ll likely forget.
Don’t talk to only one person when conversing in a group.
Don’t talk to only one person when conversing in a group.
Thankfully, the rule doesn’t say don’t talk to anyone in the group. I have such a horrific problem with eye contact that I never talk to only one person. Instead, I just kind of glance around at the ceiling…or just about anything but the people I’m supposed to be talking to. If others are talking and I'm supposed to be listening…I often just doze off…but I’m usually holding eye contact.
Don’t engage in “one-upping.”
By the way, last summer I went to Germany, France, Switzerland and Austria. Sorry…gotta run…the White House is calling.
Don’t overshare.
No problem here. Typically…I have so much to drink in the evenings that I don’t feel much like talking about my personal life. Plus…with all the digestive medical problems I’m having of late, I really don’t see the need to gone on-and-on about my torn meniscus.
Don’t say these four things…
“Am I boring you?”
Ha, ha, ha…not sure that’s even possible. Did I mention we also went to Italy? Let me tell you a story…
“Huh?” “What?” “Say What?” “Eh?” (the latter is okay if you use an ear-horn).
OK…claiming BS here.
“Actually, you should say ‘between you and me,” not ‘between you and I.’”
Between you and I, me gets an A+ here. I don’t flaunt my grammar prowess and would see no upside to showing up anyone with who I’m speaking at.
If you’re interested…you can check out the entire piece by clicking here. You really don’t have much to lose…you have to score better than me.
Several nights ago, I was watching a show called Austin City Limits. For me, this particularl episode was epic. If you have any affinity for Bob Wills or even the slightest appreciation for great musicians, please take a minute to click the link below to start the day with a song. If you find yourself smiling, you can click the next link and listen to the whole album (just hit “play all”). You may as well just do it…you can work and listen to music too.
Have a great weekend.
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