Friday, November 22, 2013

...and the weather outside is frightful

It doesn’t really seem possible that it’s time to do this yet again…but tomorrow I’ve got to get started decorating the house for Christmas. In a perfect world  you should be able to wait until after Thanksgiving before messing with garland, red bows and wreaths, but with the late Thanksgiving and the early Chanukah this year, it just seems like everything in 2013 is hyper-compressed.  Actually, aside of increased short-term memory loss, deepening wrinkles, body aches, and the need to keep a bag of adult diapers handy, one of the real trips about getting older is the way one is affected by the passage of time. With each added year…the days, months and year’s themselves just seem to go by in a flash.

Sometime in the late 1960’s, I remember sprinting out of Overland Elementary School in West Los Angeles on the last day of the school year euphoric about the coming summer vacation. At that young age, the three months without school seemed like an eternity…and I really couldn’t even envision the eventual coming of Fall…and the inevitable return to school. As a kid summer seemed to last forever…but now as a greying adult, the seasons pass by in the blink of an eye.

For me, the typical year is a handful of milestones that come-and-go with what often seems like only days in between. We ring in the New Year at a wonderful party each year with dear friends. Blink once and it’s March and time my wife’s birthday. Pretty soon we’re lighting a couple of sparklers and after what seems like only days, it’s time to hop on the Harley for the annual  early August trip to the Black Hills. Before I know it we’re watching the College Pigskin Kickoff Classic, carving pumpkins, stuffing turkeys, spinning dreidels and decking the halls.

As I got older this accelerated passage of time never really made sense to me. Then one day, when I was working at the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers main office in DC, my boss at the time and I were talking about this very subject. He seemed perplexed regarding my lack of understanding on this phenomenon, and asked sincerely if I really didn’t know why time speeds up as you get older. I assured him I didn’t know, at which point he said simply this… “well it’s not that complicated…just think about it.”

He then proceeded to reach into his desk and pull out a 25’ tape measurer while asking “how old are you right now?” “Forty three” I responded at the time. He then started SLOWLY working the yellow tape out from the metal casing counting (“10, 20, 30, 40, 41, 42, 43”) as he extended out to the 43 inch mark. [Just a side note…if you’re over forty and you haven’t done this…try it. You’ll recognize quickly you have a lot of life in the rearview mirror]. I remember being struck at how much yellow measuring tape extended from the housing. Then he said, “how long do you think you’re going to live?” “Well” I responded, “the way I feel now maybe seventy.” He said “I’m going to give you five years…let’s make it 75.” Then while keeping the 43 inch mark pinched between his thumb and index finger, he moved the tape out to 75 and said, “looks like you got less ahead of you then you do behind you. Now…think of it from my perspective…” he continued while moving his fingers up the tape from 43… “I’m 62.”

He went on to explain that when you’re young…like maybe 10, you have your entire life ahead of you. The three months of summer not only seems like an eternity when you’re in grade school, but with the limited frame of reference at that point in our young life… summer vacation represents a big part of your life and really is a long time. As you get older, that type of span gets shorter and shorter. Eventually, the years seem to go by as rapidly as seasons, which seem to go by as quickly a months, which seem to go by as fast as weeks, that often appear to go by in little more than a day.

The first week of every October I have to start writing my holiday cards. Seems insane I know, but the list has swelled to over 330 and if I’m going to write something meaningful in all of them, I have to start early. I keep this big Excel spreadsheet with all the card recipients, and one of the rituals each Fall just before I begin is to scrutinize the list for address changes and accuracy. Every year though I have to do something else, and that involves the somber and reflective practice of highlighting in yellow the rows of addressees who passed away in the course of the year. There gets to be more of that as you get older too…so whatever you’re doing this weekend, see if you can’t keep that in mind and focus a little bit more on the people and pets that really matter most to you. If you can…take a little time to do something you enjoy too.

Have a great weekend.

Close your eyes. Somewhere, nestled in the Latin Quarter of Paris, there is a quaint little café with the sooth haze of cigarette smoke, the distant hum of conversation, the warmth of laughter, and the unmistakable soothing clinking wine glasses. In the corner of the bar is a 3-person combo…and they’re playing this… 


 

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