...and I just don't get Twitter #overthehill

It’s not a good feeling to wake up one day and realize the game has passed you by. In what seems like a blink of an eye, it feels as if I’ve been transported from a spot at the head of the pack to some inconspicuous viewing position where I’m no more than a casual bystander watching the parade go by. The worst part is that I’m simply not clear on how it all happened so quickly.

Sure, I’ve always been an old soul…but at least for most of my professional life, I’d managed to more or less stay ahead of, or at least in, the game. It certainly didn’t hurt that a good part of my career was spent in an organizational culture where being in your 40s was tantamount to being a teenager, but suddenly I woke up at 50, just plain feeling old. The exponential growth of a social media culture that has managed to infantilize younger adults to the point where they almost seem incapable of glancing up from their smartphones hasn’t helped, but sadly whatever caused my rapid decline can’t be blamed on others. This is clearly something that is wrong with me and there is no better manifestation of this swift aging transformation than my inability to understand or even care about Twitter.

The real irony is that at least among my peers, I have one of the oldest Twitter accounts around. I opened it in the Fall of 2006 ahead of a social media presentation I was doing with a colleague to a large group. Most of the folks at the time had never heard of the information network…or even the concept. It took a long time to actually compose my first tweet…I just couldn’t figure out anything that warranted the need to put it down in 140 characters…and more importantly…rose to the level that required sharing. (BTW… u can follow me by clicking here #bored2tears). I don’t check my twitter application on my smartphone too often (can’t read the small print) but when I do, it’s clear to me most others are struggling with the same dilemma…that is…what exactly warrants passing along.

 Sure…there is some value in following groups for breaking news or minute-by-minute updates on public transit or local traffic, but most of the personal tweets I read are mind numbingly boring. Some are interesting or informative, and some are pretty funny. But too often it seems people are trying too hard and that the humor is motivated by some odd need to provide biting comments at the expense of others.

The bigger issue to me though is the odd presumption by habitual tweeters that other people give a rat's ass about where they are, what they're doing or most importantly of all, what they think. This may sound strange coming from someone that hammers out a 20,000 character (that's just a guess) blog most Fridays, but let's put that aside for now (for good). To be honest, reading most of the 140 character or less offerings leads me to believe that most folks are composing messages just because they can…or worse, because they’re in some competition and worried what folks will think if they are not seen as hip tweeters. What else would be the rationale for why some celebrities and high-profile folks need to have their tweets composed by others?

This  phenomenon reminds me of many of the useless conversations you’d hear during the advent of cell phones. My wife and I used to spend a few weeks in Hawaii each winter (staying w/ her brother #freeloading). While siting on the beach each day, we'd observe person after person arriving in the magical tropical setting, putting down their towel and glancing out at the Pacific and Diamond Head in the distance. After a few minutes they'd seemingly get bored, pull out their cell phone and place a call where at least the caller's side of the conversation went something like this.

"Hey...what's up?" "Where are you?" "What are you doing?" "Is it cold  there?" and then came the real intent of the meaningless call “Guess where I am?

Now sadly, I'm old enough to remember when a phone call was a pretty big deal. You could actually tell folks were calling long distance by the crackling on the line...sometimes, there'd even be a delay.  Actually, if there was too much clarity on the line...you might even excitedly (or horrifically) presume the normally long distance caller was in town. After hearing their unusually clear voice you might even ask “are you here?” The point is you had to restrict these calls to instances where you had something of value to say. You usually didn't call just to rub in the fact that you were in some tropical clime while your call recipient was freezing their ass off. The bigger point was there just wasn't the presumption that you mattered that much. So many of the tweets I read now seem to be screaming "I'm important and "I'm doing something you're not." Even many of the hashtags seem to suggest the tweeter is doing something you’re not.

So…I actually took a look at some random personal tweets on my account. Most are retweets of messages from people I don’t know. I know they matter…I’m just begging someone to tell me why.

·         Inaugural parade set to begin. Waiting for Obama. That’s a spine-tingler I needed to be aware of right now…especially since there was absolutely no way to know this by watching the 407 channels of non-stop cable coverage of this snorefest.

·         Aahhhh "I want to look one more time" -BO Really? Nice sentiment sure but does this warrant a tweet? I’m guessing the answer is yes…but again…I’m completely lost as to why?

·         Sound cutting out on speakers on the mall. Ppl listening on their phones. Guy says: "This is what happens in steerage." OK…this is somewhat funny…but again…why do people need to know this and why did this need to be retweeted?

·         It’s reasonable to hope that the images landing on her retinas were influencing the sounds bursting from her throat: http://wapo.st/WVyzST This means something to somebody I’m sure…but not me.

·         "The new status symbol isn’t what you own — it’s what you’re smart enough not to own" http://wapo.st/10oTi47 #SharingEconomy Drats...this was actually pretty interesting.

·         "...The top 1% of income earners took home 93% of the growth in incomes in 2010..." - Joseph Stiglitz, @NYTimes: Zzzz @boringashell #whogivesash*t?

· I'm at Walter E. Washington Convention Center for The Inaugural Ball w/…I’m @ home in my pajamas stoned on my 3rd glass of Malbec…but really…do/should u care?

What’s the point of all this? Not sure…probably just further evidence my weekly rantings about being on the threshold of assisted living are warranted. The perpetual need to tweet however does remind me of a sign that hung over the door of Mr. Piteski’s 7^th Grade band class at Palms Junior High School in Los Angeles. I used to glance up there from the clarinet section each day and it read simply “Silence is the only real substitute for brains.” That advice is golden, and I prove most Fridays why it’s a bad thing to ignore. Seems to me a lot of tweeters could benefit by not making that same mistake.

Start the weekend with some music...