This past Wednesday I drove some folks over for a breakfast meeting on Capitol Hill. While sitting in the vehicle and waiting for them to wrap up, I was struck once again by the incredible differences between the east and west coasts. This manifests itself in a litany of ways that reflect both good and bad on both regions...but nothing vividly illustrates the dichotomy more than the way people with brains see fit to use their vehicle hazard lights.
Here it was morning rush hour in the middle of the week, and more than a few folks reasoned it was perfectly fine to double park their car in a congested traffic lane while they ran (sadly...they didn't always run) into some neighborhood joint to conduct their morning business. In most cases, they were headed in to drop-off or pick-up dry cleaning, but there were also more than a few that concluded it was appropriate to hold up others while they stopped to get a four-dollar "grande" soy latte. In several cases, the hold-up lasted more than a couple of minutes.
Now...I find this odd for a couple of reasons. You see, people in North Dakota (did they move that state to the west coast?) simply would not do this. First off, most roads are only two lanes total so if you park in one of them you're cutting off the entire flow of traffic in one direction. Second, there are hitching posts in front of many businesses so most people still just “ride” into town. However even when visiting the big city, people raised in places like Fargo and Bismarck wouldn't presume their needs are more important than all those stuck in the lane behind them. It’s basic “do unto others” stuff. Here on the other hand, in the nation’s capital, it happens all the time…and the folks doing it are often driving high-end vehicles and don't appear to have been deprived of a top-notch education…or the minimum civilities one would assume comes with such an experience.
The weird thing is such courtesy is not restricted to folks living in the Bible Belt. Even in Los Angeles (now the west coast thing is making some sense), most people wouldn't double park (unless they'd spent time in DC). Sure, they might scream an expletive at you for saying hello, or pop a cap in your right-rear quarter panel for cutting them off on THE 405, but they'd never double park and stop traffic. For one thing, people in LA inconvenienced by such rudeness would never stand for such crap...that's why we carry (a 9mm) when we drive. I don’t really carry a gun anymore, but I do keep a pair of 9” diagonal pliers from my days as an electrician. If you double-park in front of me, expect to find your valve stems decorating the pavement when you walk out of Starbucks. That of course presumes I’m bigger (or can run faster) than you and have at least assessed that I can pull it off without getting my butt kicked.
Oddly, this self-centered bad behavior isn’t restricted to those double-parking automobiles. It’s the same principle deployed by some environmental Nazis that choose to take up a lane during the evening rush-hour as they slowly pedal up 16th Street at 2 miles per hour blocking everyone behind them. Essentially, the message is “Screw you, my bike ride home is more important than the hundreds of you stuck behind me. Besides…you’re all idling now, your gas guzzling engines are running more and your commute is now much longer. Can’t you see…I’m saving the environment.”
So...here's the deal. If you have find yourself thinking you’re more important that every other inhabitant on the planet, fight the urge to double-park. Do your societal duty and park a couple of blocks away and walk over to take care of your errands…that way, on the few emergencies where you may have to double-park, you might have enough energy to actually jog in to pick up your chai. When you do hustle in…you’ll at least mitigate your depraved behavior by conveying to the rest of the world that you’re aware that you think you’re god and everyone else matters less than you.
OK…this is pretty cool. Aside from my paltry writing skills, the plummeting popularity of this blog also suggests my song choices need help too. Rather just one song, this quasi time machine of music will take you to a site that will play the best 20 hits of any year below. Pick a year, wait a few seconds, and the Juke Box will show you the 20 hits to select from. As best as I can tell, the music keeps playing and playing with just an occasional station identification (upchucky.com). Hope you like it..it may take a minute or two to load (I tried to check every link and I think they’re all good). Have a wonderful weekend.
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