Sometime back in September, amidst the hurricane of preparing for a large work-related conference, several work colleagues and dear friends lamented the insane pace. We naively fantasized about the post-conference down time, and talked with optimism about the coming Fall season and the prospect of chilling a bit during the quiet holidays that would soon follow. During the course of the conversation we dreamed about taking the time to see hillsides covered with vibrant changing leaves, covered bridges, maple syrup and festive fall recipes which included ingredients made from things like Butternut Squash (I was mostly listening at this point).
After talk of foliage, pumpkins and Turducken (made that up…but learned about it earlier this year and wanted to work in), we segued into our plans for the month of December, and romanticized the idea of chestnuts, roaring fires, holiday music, wine, ice skating on the Mall and relaxed evenings with family and friends. We talked about the sins of previous years…especially around failing to take the time to enjoy the holidays, and promised ourselves that this year would be different. We even kind of bragged about the wisdom and clarity that comes from advancing years (OK…this was really my advancing years), and essentially made a pact that we’d slow the clock long enough to really take in the magic of the coming season.
Well, this morning at about 2:35am my eyes opened abruptly and I immediately knew that would be no return to sleep. I began thinking that Christmas Eve was fifteen days away, and I’d yet to finish writing cards, or shop for any gifts, or take the time to even send emails (let alone cards) thanking folks for the thoughtful gifts, cards, lunches, Poinsettia plants, birthday celebrations, and other incredibly thoughtful things that have already come my way.
Worse, as the fog of slumber abated and I began to really cogitate, I dwelled on all that was left to do in the next few weeks, and thought even more about all the broken promises to meet a friend for a holiday lunch, or to grab a beer with a dear former work colleague, or to just sit on the couch for 15 minutes to gaze at the beauty of the tree.
Yesterday, while hurriedly walking back to work (after a nice but still too rushed lunch with a mentor and friend), I thought about the myriad of things that needed immediate attention back at the office. I began to stress about all that had to be done that afternoon, and none of it was even mildly connected to chestnuts, open fires, or any of the other things I dreamt about with my friends back in September. I even rudely dismissed a homeless person as he held out a styrofoam cup, and accelerated the pace of my gait in hopes of gaining a few extra minutes back at the office.
Sometime, in a period that will pass much quicker that the hours between right now (it’s 4:39 am EST) and tomorrow morning, I’ll blink and it will be Monday morning January 5th. It will likely be cold (really have no way of knowing that…just makes it more dramatic), and as I scrape the ice off my driver’s side windshield (won’t have time to do the passenger side) that dark post-holiday morning, I’ll glance up at the garland on the house and silently cuss the thought of taking down the decorations (the following Saturday when it will be even colder). Hopefully when I do they’ll still be plenty of ice on the car window because I won’t want to catch a glance of the aging man that’s managed to learn nothing…and has once again let another holiday season pass in blur.
Sadly, you’re not going to get much of value in these pages…but there is one repeated nugget that you really should heed. If you’re anything like me, slow the heck down and take time to relax. Life is so incredibly fragile, and the next couple weeks should be dedicated entirely to just chilling out and spending time with the family and friends that you love. Many of you won’t…and sadly…more pathetically really…I won’t either. Maybe though, we could all take a couple of minutes, and start this holiday Friday with a song.
BTW…sorry about all the misspellings and poor grammar (even Word is showing this as a sentence fragment). Would have loved to proof this thing…but I simply didn’t have the time.
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