...and I'm going to the bookstore

Sometime last summer…maybe even before that, I accompanied my wife to a local bookstore on Connecticut Avenue called Politics and Prose. Unlike me, my wife is a voracious reader, and she literally goes through books faster than anyone I know. Thanks to a severe internet addiction to useless infromation and a welcome proliferation of trash television, I have not found the need to waste much time reading. There are times however when even the “Orange County Choppers” or “Gold Rush” reruns get old, and I actually regress to the point where I resign myself to killing  time with books.

So…when I joined my better-half at the bookstore on that day months ago, I was hoping to make the visit tolerable by spending time in the periodical section with the latest editions of NASCAR Weekly and Field and Stream. However as I climbed the stairs up from the store’s basement coffeehouse, I fortuitously noticed a book on the shelf at the top of the staircase titled “Choosing Civility.” It took me about four or five months to finish it (with Housewives shows in New York, New Jersey, Atlanta and Beverly Hills…there’s little time for books), and it really was truly enjoyable. I read it concurrently with a fiction book by James Lee Burke (usually only read fiction on weekends or when I travel)…so the point is that I only need about two or three of these non-fiction (non-TV time) books a year. So, after completing Choosing Civility I was eager to replace the non-fiction book so I made a return visit over to Politics and Prose this past Sunday to pick one up.

The store…which sits at 5015 Connecticut Ave just north of Cleveland Park in Washington, DC, is a certifiable classic. It’s actually been referenced in the comic strip Doonesbury of late…and the place really is quite the quintessential old-school bookstore.

http://www.doonesbury.com/strip/archive/2012/01/09

As I noted above, there is also a coffeehouse downstairs that is usually inhabited by more than a few gray ponytailed folks with berets who sip lattes while staring at their laptops. The store itself is usually filled with intellectual types, and with a book event planned at 1pm on this particular Sunday, it looked like a scene right out of a set on CSPAN (see previous post). The place was crawling with a bunch of bearded, tweed sports-coat wearing, white-haired peaceniks that likely spent a couple of August days near White Lake, New York before returning to their pretentious Ivy League schools in the fall of 1969. It was also just minutes before the AFC Division Championship game (living just minutes away…I knew I’d be home in time for kickoff), so you can imagine how the group looked that voluntarily chose to participate in a book event instead of watching an NFL playoff game. I hate to stereotype…but I’m guessing most in this group had never watched a WWF Smackdown or monster truck event, let alone possessed the requisite skills needed to change their motor oil or field-dress a Buck. I could go on-and-on…but let’s just say you can probably safely bet that not one person in the store this day owned even one piece of camo clothing. 





They were gathered to hear speaker Natalie Wexler, who apparently lives in the Politics and Prose neighborhood. She also recently wrote a book called “The Mother Daughter Show."  Ms. Wexler mentioned in her opening remarks (I didn’t want to listen but I couldn’t help but eavesdrop) that she had a couple of kids that attended the prestigious Sidwell-Friends school where the “First Family’s kids go.” Needless to say…I was dying to get home and turn on the Speed Channel or at least a few minutes of Man vs. Food.

I was just about to bolt when I spotted the self-help section on the back, right-hand side of the store. On the bottom shelf was a lone copy of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” and right above it to the left was a powder blue book entitled “The Art of Conversation – A Guided Tour of a Neglected Pleasure.”

Click here for book link

The book was a bit bigger than I typically like (too many pages…and worse…no pictures), but I couldn’t help but be intrigued by the title. I picked up the book and read the jacket, which essentially contended that fundamental conversational skills are becoming rare in an era where folks would rather stare at their smart phone than converse face-to-face. This is a problem, because the more conversational skills deteriorate, the better option a mobile device becomes for anyone faced with the choice.

For the most part I sleep fairly well, but to the degree I’m haunted by my myriad of shortcomings, nothing keeps slumber at bay more than thoughts of how much my conversational skills have dwindled (OK...worse things keep me up...but it sounded good for this post). My deficiencies manifest themselves in a litany of ways, but in a paramount tribute to rudeness, I routinely pull out my phone and glance at it amidst a conversation, repeatedly fail to listen and incessantly interrupt when I should be waiting my turn. I won’t bore you with all the highlights of the book (and...then there's the problem that I haven't read it yet), but as I wade into the opening chapters I’m reminded of a previous post where an article from the website The Art of Maniless was cited. That particular piece included five dos and don’ts, and as I reviewed it again this morning in anticipation of this writing, I was horrified at my tendency to routinely violate the basic principles…especially the don’ts. Below is a quick list of those don’ts and a couple of thoughts on each.

5 Don’ts of Conversation

Don’t interrupt.

Excuse me…but I need to share something quite relevant and if I don’t say it now…I’ll likely forget.

Don’t talk to only one person when conversing in a group.

Thankfully, the rule doesn’t say don’t talk to anyone in the group. I have such a horrific problem with eye contact that I never talk to only one person. Instead, I just kind of glance around at the ceiling…or just about anything but the people I’m supposed to be talking to. If others are talking and I'm supposed to be listening…I often just doze off…but I’m usually holding eye contact.

Don’t engage in “one-upping.”

By the way, last summer I went to Germany, France, Switzerland and Austria. Sorry…gotta run…the White House is calling.

Don’t overshare.

No problem here. Typically…I have so much to drink in the evenings that I don’t feel much like talking about my personal life. Plus…with all the digestive medical problems I’m having of late, I really don’t see the need to gone on-and-on about my torn meniscus.

Don’t say these four things…

“Am I boring you?”

Ha, ha, ha…not sure that’s even possible. Did I mention we also went to Italy? Let me tell you a story…

“Huh?” “What?” “Say What?” “Eh?” (the latter is okay if you use an ear-horn).

OK…claiming BS here.

 “Actually, you should say ‘between you and me,” not ‘between you and I.’”

Between you and I, me gets an A+ here. I don’t flaunt my grammar prowess and would see no upside to showing up anyone with who I’m speaking at.  

If you’re interested…you can check out the entire piece by clicking here. You really don’t have much to lose…you have to score better than me.

Several nights ago, I was watching a show called Austin City Limits. For me, this particularl episode was epic. If you have any affinity for Bob Wills or even the slightest appreciation for great musicians, please take a minute to click the link below to start the day with a song. If you find yourself smiling, you can click the next link and listen to the whole album (just hit “play all”). You may as well just do it…you can work and listen to music too.

Have a great weekend.

The Song

The Album

...and I'm already watching some good TV

Over the course of many postings, I’ve made more than the occasional (why is it I can NEVER spell occasional right the first try…must be the two Cs and one S thing) reference to my propensity for filling much of my free time, or at least post-school-night work time with alcohol and trash TV. I’ve actually had well-meaning colleagues, who legitimately horrified by what they see as a tragic waste of good time, ask me if I really go home most nights and drink a bottle of wine and watch two hours of garbage like the Kardashians or Housewives. Well, in complete candor, the answer to that question is as you might expect…no. Depending on how bad the day is and the time I get home, there are times when I’ll spend three hours watching TV and get into a second bottle of wine.

I do tire a little bit though of all the pretentious criticism of TV by folks who claim to spend their evenings cooking with ingredients like nutmeg, reading foreign language copies of Tolstoy and listening to Bach. Yes, I know there are some people that actually spend precious time doing such things, and my philosophy is live and let live. If individuals want to spend their time wasting time with these cultured pursuits so be it, just don’t run down the tangible value that comes from a comprehensive understanding of your cable box and flat screen. I also think TV is often given a bad name, and that folks would actually be amazed to find out what they can learn simply by turning on the television. I commented on this back in the summer, and decided to spend some time again this morning perusing the various channels in an effort to enrich my brain.

Thankfully, the first cat I came across was evangelist Peter Popoff on BET. I was relieved to find he’s still peddling his Miracle Spring Water (the supply I ordered in the summer is running low) but I was amazed to learn the expansive powers of the water. Apparently, MSW can be used for something called Devine Debt Reduction.  I had been using my for other less productive things (you can probably take one look at me and figure out I don’t need conventional moisturizer anymore) but now the water can be used to eliminate money you thought you had an obligation to pay to other people. There were actually credible believers that have used MSW to cancel debts of 27K, 20K and 25K. And here we were blaming Wall Street for the bank failures. Almost makes me feel sorry for Barclays that manages my U.S. Airways MasterCard. They think they’re getting the usual minimum payment this month, and now all I’m going to do is sprinkle a little water on the invoice when the bill arrives. Now…you may be skeptical, but if you go to  www.peterpopoff.org , you might stop making so much fun of TV.

On WPXW there is a show called Inspiration Camp Meeting. Here, you simply plant a $1,000 seed of faith and bam…you’re looking right down the barrel of added prosperity. They even beamed folks in from a mountaintop in Jerusalem.  If you click the link below, you can watch a video of Dr. Todd Coontz talking about the seed planting phenomenon. I planted three seeds; so needless to say, I’m a cinch for the 1% crowd in no time. http://www.inspirationcampmeeting.com/  BTW…I’m guessing you’ve probably figured this out, but even if you’re skeptical of Dr. Coontz, this is a fairly low risk proposition if you play it right. Inspiration Ministries takes credit cards, so you can charge your seed(s) and (I bet you know where I going with this) when the bill arrives…yep…miracle spring debt cancellation.

On the same channel…at 6am, the Bosely Hair Restoration show offered “honest, up close and personal results.” If you need hair, you can go to www.BOSLEY.com. This may sound ridiculous, but if you call now you get a free information kit and a free $250 Gift Certificate. The number is 1-800-422-3169. I won’t go into details, but there were a bunch of very credible doctors (they even wore their white coats) talking about the balding culprit “DHT” (find that in your freaking novel). Essentially, the hair on the back of your head is “permanent” hair. They take that hair and move it into the contaminated “DHT” area and bingo, shades of Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. Once again, you may be skeptical…but if you saw the same before and after pictures I was viewing…you’d already be on www.BOSELY.com. For a list of the followers of this blog that should go to BOSELY.com…click here. OK…that didn’t really work…but admit it…you clicked.

Next channel up, on A&E, you can get Natural Advantage. It’s something for your skin (if you don’t have any Spring Water) that will produce younger looking skin in just 1 week. Not only that, but it’s an amazing bargain at $89.95. My lord, my faith seeds are kicking in…the price just plummeted to $59.95 as I type and I’m getting free shipping. There’s even an attractive actress for added credibility. I don’t remember her name, but she’s got a sophisticated English (or maybe it’s Boston) accent. You can also get some special eye cream for only $29.95. You may think this sounds like crap, but you can get all this all at www.NaturalAdvantage.com. BTW, there was a nationally acclaimed esthetician (I don’t know what that is) from Beverly Hills that uses it in her salon. Don’t know if you’ve ever been to Beverly Hills, but I actually had an apartment there when I was going through the apprenticeship, and if you saw the cars people drove, you’d buy Natural Advantage.

On Spiked HD, Montel Williams was doing a show about an amazing product that will catapult your television hosting career. OK, that was joke. He was talking about some sort of little brown box (kind of looks like a humidifier but it’s a Living Pure Heater). It purifies, humidifies and cleans the air while it warms. Not trying to be a smartass here, but really, why would you opt for a system that just provides impure, dry and dirty heat when you can have Montel’s system? You can buy this for only $39 and you get free S&H. Check it out on www.BuyLivingPure.com. Montel was even showing “the guys” that were watching that you can set the temperature right on the front of the unit. It’s odd, watching him in action now, I can’t imagine why his career went in the toilet. I’m guessing he resisted the faith seeds.

On the next channel up was something I’d never heard of or seen before. It was called CSPAN, and seemed to be a bunch of professorial types with white hair and tweed jackets (with elbow patches) sitting in a classroom setting talking about books and history. I’ve got one word for you….Zzzzzz.

On WGN Marie Osmond was doing a commercial for nutrisystem. She was saying the time for change is right now. You can get Marie’s system at www.nutrisystem.com/tv. If you want to go old school, you can call at 1-888-950-THIN. Once again, not trying to over sell here but if there wasn’t anything to this do you really think their randomly assigned phone number would really end with numbers that match up with “THIN?”

On SYFYHD TV you can get OrGREENiC (not sure what’s up with the caps…but that’s how they spell it) pots and pans. I’m really not sure what the angle is, but the cookware is green and it may even be biodegradable. To be honest, this wasn’t one of the better infomercials. It almost seemed more appropriate for that CSPAN channel. Anyway…if you’re interested you can check it out at www.OrGREENiC.com 

If you have pain anywhere, there’s a very good chance it’s linked to chronic inflammation. Thankfully, there is a new natural pain reliever that produces remarkable results. The amazing product is derived from cactus in the Sonoran Desert and is called Nopalea. If you’re smart enough to try this miracle cure, you can take the Nopalea Challenge by calling now to 1-800-497-8033. If you’re a cynic you might think this is some kind of marketing ploy, but if you sprinkle a little of Popoff’s Miracle Spring Water on that skepticism and open your mind a little bit, you’ll realize they’ll give you a free 32 oz. bottle. More importantly, it comes in some kind of revolutionary bottle.

Once you get rid of the pain, you can actually improve your brain by trying Dr. Smalls’ 14-Day plan. It apparently includes a healthy diet rich in anti-oxidants. Wait…the Doctor just said “some fats are good for us” so there may be hope for me. Stress is also a reason we can’t remember things, and it’s not good for memory. Under chronic stress, our bodies release something  that kills brain cells (Hmmm…how can stress work like wine?). Unlike these other informational shows, there haven’t put up any numbers for Dr. Smalls’ product but I’m hopeful you can find it somewhere.

Up another couple of channels was the same fellow that had been urging us to plant $1,000 faith seeds (Dr. Todd Coontz). This time, the little icon at the bottom of the screen said www.rockwealth.org  so he may be doing some side work away from Inspiration Ministries. He was still making the tie between my willingness to fork over my money and the inevitable wealth that would come my way as a result of my giving what little I have to him. It’s kind of funny all the money people spend attainting high-browed MBAs when you can just watch Dr. Coontz. He has the remedies to any financial or personal stress you may be going through right now. Again…check it out. http://www.rockwealth.org/

Oreck has an air purifier called the Pro Shield Plus. Not sure why you need this if you have the heater above that heat’s and cleans, but perhaps this would be a great option for the summer when you don’t need heat. This show had a bunch of very believable testimonials from incredibly credible real people. The seemed so sincere, and all them sung the praises of the company. You can get the Pro Shield Plus’s 6-Stage filtration system with the patented Truman Cell  by going to www.TryDualMax.com  or by calling 1-800-892-5275. It never needs replacing and cleaning it is a snap. If that’s not enough for you, it’s made right here at home in Cookeville, TN. You can try it at home for 30 days for free. If you like it, keep it…and if you don’t return and David Oreck pays the Shipping and Handling. This is especially appealing, because you may be a bit low on cash if you’ve planted a lot of faith seeds and haven’t utilized the debt cancellation water. Then again, at least you know it’s only a matter of time before your ship comes in.

On Spike TV, John and Char are giving people Free Money. While I was watching, they gave an unsuspecting person a check they didn’t know they had coming for 91K. You get it for $29.95 from Kevin Trudeau by calling 1-800-709-6682. You also get a couple of other free books that show you how to get other free stuff. This is so good, the government is apparently ready to “shut Kevin down.”

OK…my brain is on overload and I’ve done my deed for the day. I also cannot type anymore without some MSW and with my debt; I can’t afford to spend the precious drops I have left on curing my looming carpal tunnel. I was also tempted to sprinkle a little on my laptop to handle the typos and misspellings, but until more arrives, I just don’t think that’s wise.

Have a great day and a wonderful weekend. Enjoy some music too.

 Some Friday morning music

 

...and I'm going to remember these 10 things

Among the things I find really amazing are the rare breed of people that have truly mastered the art of winning friends and influencing people. This fascination exists for a couple of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that it is yet another area of my own life where I have undeniably failed miserably. This is especially shameful to me, because  I was provided both an early awareness of the importance of such interpersonal skills and a better than average opportunity to develop at least some of these talents.

Back when I was about 20…maybe even younger, my father identified unflattering characteristics in my personality and essentially implored me to read Dale Carnegie’s well-known 1936 masterpiece “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. Though there was immediate tangible value in the simple wisdom of the easy read, I’ve somehow managed to push those ultimate truths to the dark corners of the brain. Even more troubling, these failings have only accelerated with advancing years, and despite the knowledge that is supposed to come with aging, it is clear to me I have only regressed as the time has passed.

About five years ago, I walked into the office of a colleague who I admire and who struck me as among the rare few that didn’t need to read Dale’s book. As we chatted, I barely noticed an unimpressive and old-school 8x14 Xerox list subtly displayed on the wall. Consistent with someone that lacks the minimal civility to win friends or influence people, I rudely let my eyes wander amidst our conversation to the list and its contents. The title, The Ten Commandments of How to Get Along With People, immediate caught my eye. Seeing my interest, my coworker stated it was something she received from another colleague. I asked her if I could get a copy, and consistent with item #3 on the commandments below, she pledged to make me a copy and delivered it to my office several days later.

My intent was to review the list before the start of each day, and for about a week, I did just that. Over time, that ritual deteriorated to about once a week…and then once a month…and then once every couple of years. After a particularly frustrating week, I came into the office yesterday morning lamenting all that was wrong with the world, and unexplainably happened to glance up at the 8x14 list (I brought it with me to this still new office). As used to happen much more frequently, I was again reminded that most of my frustration was due to me…and once again reviewed the list in detail.

I did more than that…and actually took the time to type up the entire list for this blog (if you know Mark Zorbrisky you can verify this…he walked in and caught me). I have no doubt there are much better lists, but for some reason, I just like the simplicity of this particular litany. As I read through it again, it was like a sobering glance in the mirror…and I was rudely reminded of how deficient I am in so many of the areas. As often is the case, I couldn’t help but fantasize how much better my life would be if I could just improve a little bit in each of these areas.

The list appears immediately below…and I took the liberty to include some thoughts (in read) after each commandment.

Ten Commandment of How to Get Along With People

1)    Keep skid chains on your tongue; always say less than you think. Cultivate a low, persuasive voice. How you say it often counts more than what you say.

Thinking back, it’s amazing to think how much heartache and embarrassment I could have saved by just keeping my mouth shut…especially at certain times. I used to understand the value of silence, but sadly over the years, that lesson has somehow faded.

2)    Never let an opportunity pass to say a kind and encouraging word to our about somebody. Praise good work, regardless of who did it. If criticism is needed, criticize helpfully and never spitefully.

OK…not going to brag here, but this might be the only area where I may be adequate. Perhaps it’s no better than C+ work, but I’ve always been truly touched by hardworking people and really do try to praise their good work.

3)    Make promises sparingly, and keep them faithfully, no matter what it costs.

Actually, my remedy here is just to make very few promises. I get low marks on following through….so in general I try to keep them to a minimum.

4)    Be interested in others, their pursuits, their work, their homes and families. Make merry with those who rejoice, with those who weep mourn. Let everyone you meet, however humble, feel that you regard them as a person of importance.

Once again, not a good reflection in the old looking glass. D work here at best…way too consumed with my own life to convey too much interest in the lives of those around me.

5)    Be cheerful. Don’t burden or depress those around you with your aches and pains and small disappointments. Remember, everyone is carrying some kind of load…and it’s often way worse than the one you’re bearing.

Uff da….this one actually hurts. Ask me how I’m doing and you’ll get an earful on everything that’s wrong with the world and a comprehensive update on the status of my torn meniscus. You can give me a solid F in this department.

6)    Keep an open mind. Discuss but don’t argue. It is a mark of a superior mind to be able to disagree without being disagreeable.

My lord this is hard. Another real area of weakness for me. Not seeing a whole lot of need for an open mind when I already know I’m right the lion’s share of the time.

7)    Let your virtues, if you have any, speak for themselves. Refuse to talk of another’s vices. Discourage gossip. It is a waste of valuable time and can be extremely destructive.

Discourage gossip?...not sure that even makes sense. If kibitzing about the bad deeds of others was wrong, I don’t think god would have made it such an entertaining way to pass such large blocks of  time. I’m sure as heck not going to share my own transgressions with others, so I may as well spend the hours hashing over the sordid rumors of someone else’s existence. With respect to virtues, I’d love to keep a low profile but the fact of the matter is at the end of the day, I am pretty cool.

8)    Be careful of another’s feelings. Wit and humor at the other person’s expense are rarely worth it and may hurt when least expected.

OK…going to have to just flat out claim baloney here. It’s much funnier when it comes at someone else’s expense.  

9)    Pay no attention to ill-natured remarks about you. Remember, the person who carried the message may not be most accurate reporter. Simply live so that nobody will believe them. Disordered nerves and bad digestion are a common cause of back-biting.

Uh…I’m not sure this is right either. It might be the cause of entertainment, but I don’t get any indigestion.

10) Don’t be too anxious about the credit due you. Do your best and be patient. Forget about yourself and let others “remember.” Success is much sweeter that way.

What…forget about myself? Presuming that’s even possible (and I’m conceding nothing here), what would I think about instead? Also…and I’m just saying here, what about all the stellar work I’ve done lately that others are taking credit for? I mean…I can’t think of any specifics…but it’s there…trust me.

As always...I apologize for any typos, misspellings, and all the really poor grammar.

The Friday Song

48,012 miles…that’s what the account balance showed when I logged onto my U.S. Airways Dividend Miles account back in early December. This posed more than a minor problem, because with 2012 coming like a freight train, I was still roughly 2,000 miles short of the coveted Gold Preferred frequent flyer status I’ve managed to rack up on largely personal travel since moving from California to the East Coast back in 2005. With no planned business meetings in December, this meant a discretionary trip would need to be taken sometime before the New Year. Unfortunately, it also meant the excursion would need to take place during the busy holiday travel period…but if you’ve suffered the indignity of boarding in Zones 2 through 5, or if you’ve had to check your carry-on luggage due to the lack of remaining overhead space, you’re willing to go the extra mile. BTW…wasn’t that a better than average  use of the often overused “extra mile” cliché?

After a mediocre year of flying around the country (Gold status is pretty paltry compared to the more elite Platinum and Chairman classifications of big time travelers), I really didn’t have the need to visit any particular person or place. So, this meant that other than the typical restrictive bustling holiday schedule we all have to deal with and the minimum 2,000 mile criteria, there was really no limitation on the any number of possible exotic destinations from which to choose. I had colleagues and friends traveling to such places as Cambodia, Thailand, Paris, Mexico, New Orleans, and Colorado, so the bar was pretty high. I thought about Fort Lauderdale, the Bahamas, and even a quick trip to Southern California, but at the end-of-the-day I decided to really live it up, and I went ahead and booked tickets to Fargo, North Dakota (my fifth trip to the region this year).

Now, I know what you’re thinking…you’re thinking about the movie Fargo. But you’re also probably contemplating other things…like consulting me about your next vacation, wondering whether or not I’m married, or my undoubtedly impressive SAT score (930…and I got caught cheating). You also may be pondering what kind of pretentious jerk would be so concerned about something as pretentious (straight out of the Department of Redundancy Department) as frequent flyer status that they would take an unnecessary trip in the midst of a hellacious holiday travel season? Well, I wish I knew what to tell you, but I guess the best suggestion I have for you is to reference the SAT score (BTW…not sure they calculate them the same way now, but back in the day 1600 was really good…930…not so much).

There is however a more defendable reason…and it has to do with the exponential decline of service and civility of air travel in general.  The Southwesternization of the airline industry has resulted in a Walmart-like approach to the overall flying experience, and flying first class (I get upgraded about 65% of the time if I travel at off-peak times) makes the now mostly unpleasant exercise almost tolerable. Sure, I suspect it would be better not to be so wrapped up in such superficial things as one’s frequent flyer status, but it would also help to be four-foot two inches tall and have fantasies about living life in a sardine can.

I’ve had to humbly walk past all those smug faces with their pre-flight beverages in First Class looking at me like they’re better than me…and I’ve sat in First Class arrogantly sipping a glass of red wine while sneering at the pillow toting peasants meekly filing by to the lower decks. I’d like to tell you it doesn’t matter, but B is better. It’s not like it’s better by just a little bit either…scenario B is markedly superior.

So, I’m sitting in First Class right now on the trip from Charlotte to my next stop in Minneapolis (had to fly to NC first from DC to rack up enough miles. Again…check the college entrance scores). I finished my second bag of Kettle Chips and had a couple glasses of OJ while the scrunched peons back in steerage shelled out 7 bones for a freaking cheese and snack plate (presuming there was one even available). Hey…it’s almost 7am and here comes the flight attendant again. “Pardon me, but may I have a black coffee with a splash of Jack Daniels please?” Oh yeah…it matters.

Most of you are probably off work relaxing this holiday week, so chances are you might not even need (or want) a Friday morning song. However if you do, and if you yearn to cling to that holiday feeling just a little while longer, take a few minutes to listen to this soothing seasonal gem. It’s a version you don’t always hear, and if you like holiday music,  it might just be a nice way to wrap up the year.

Happy New Year…and if I know or work with you, thank you for enriching my year…and my life.

Happy New Year

...and if you're itching to take a walk...think again.

So I’m finishing up dinner at a rather swank and very popular restaurant in Georgetown last night, when one of the guys (this was a work-related event) in our group of eight guys asks me how far away I live. I respond by telling him Cleveland Park, and round out my reply by noting that I could actually “walk home from here.” Now this chap was a life-long resident of the area, and because he knew I grew up in Los Angeles, I could see that he was concerned that I wasn’t aware of just how far it would be from the eatery home. He asked how far I thought it was, and I boldly responded that I was certain it was no more than a mile-and-a-half.

At that point, he tried to suppress a laugh and repeated my answer in a tone that suggested he thought the distance was much greater. He said “listen…you’re from LA but I grew up in this area. If you’re going to walk up Wisconsin you’re going to have to go up the hill, then down, then back up again before it flattens out just before one last hill up to the Cathedral.” After that, he promised there was still about a mile to get to where I said I lived. He urged me to catch a cab…or at least to hop on a bus to ride part of the way up Wisconsin. I thanked him for his concern, but privately thought it was sad that someone that grew up in the area would know less about the surroundings than me.

So…at the end of the evening, just before 9pm, I gathered my raincoat and headed up Wisconsin through the heart of Georgetown. It was a charming evening, and the juxtaposition of holiday decorations and folks dining outdoors (it was 65 degrees on this December 15^th night and very humid to boot) made for an almost magical atmosphere. As I walked up the Avenue amidst holiday laughter, clinking glasses and the hum of animated conversation, I remember thinking it odd that someone would suggest missing this charming short stroll and recommend opting for an antiseptic taxi ride instead.   

That first hill up Wisconsin seemed longer than I recalled, but I remember welcoming the exercise after a day, ok a week, ok a month, ok…since about the Fourth, of eating as though I thought I’d need to hibernate for the coming winter. The buzz of seasonal revelry seemed to fade as I left the businesses of Georgetown and entered a quieter neighborhood. It seemed like I’d been walking forever, and I was disgusted that the earthquake construction still meant the lights were out at the Cathedral thus rendering the nearby spires unseen on the horizon ahead. As I started up a second hill, I saw a sign that read “Welcome to Maryland.” OK, that’s a lie, but after walking across what seemed like the entire District, that’s what the sign should have said. The sign actually said something about Grover Park I think…but after schlepping up an endless hill in what seemed like August humidity, I was a bit dehydrated and delirious at this point. I remember thinking it sad that my acquaintance back at the restaurant couldn’t have been more considerate by forcefully conveying just how far it was. I began looking for cabs, but all of them appeared to be heading down into Georgetown, not northward toward my destination.

After walking for over thirty minutes, and probably close to 2 miles, I finally saw the Cathedral spires. Thankfully, they appeared close enough to touch. Unthankfully, they were still about ¾ of a mile in the distance.  As I quickened my pace towards Mass Ave, my clothes were soaked with perspiration. Thankfully though, my sweat soaked clothing was almost an afterthought compared to the ragging blisters forming on both of my feet. Just as a side note, if you decide to walk home across the freakin’ United States some evening, don’t wear black dress shoes.

Well, I finally arrived home well-after after 10pm, and while I was tired, soaked with sweat and though I sported several new large blisters, at least I was in a really bad mood.  What’s the point of all this? Well, if you consider yourself a friend, and if you have special knowledge of an area you’ve lived in all your life, you have a duty to share that information with open minded folks that simply may not know the local geography as well as you. This is especially true if they are contemplating something akin to the Bataan Death March. If you do so, you just might save a friend from the unfortunate situation that I found myself in just last night.

Well, gotta go. I don’t have my car so I have to take the Metro into work. Thankfully, the temperature has plummeted during this writing, so while it won’t be a comfortable walk temperature wise, at least the rapidly approaching cold-front means the wind is now gusting about 40mph.

BTW...if you close your eyes for a few minutes before the insanity of the work day and listen to a seasonal song...you might just lower your heart beat. Close your eyes...just do it. It will only take 3:21seconds and if it doesn't work...I'll refund your money.

Happy Holidays...

and before you blink..they'll be over.

Sometime back in September, amidst the hurricane of preparing for a large work-related conference, several work colleagues and dear friends lamented the insane pace. We naively fantasized about the post-conference down time, and talked with optimism about the coming Fall season and the prospect of chilling a bit during the quiet holidays that would soon follow. During the course of the conversation we dreamed about taking the time to see hillsides covered with vibrant changing leaves, covered bridges, maple syrup and festive fall recipes which included ingredients made from things like Butternut Squash (I was mostly listening at this point).

After talk of foliage, pumpkins and Turducken (made that up…but learned about it earlier this year and wanted to work in), we segued into our plans for the month of December, and romanticized the idea of chestnuts, roaring fires, holiday music, wine, ice skating on the Mall and relaxed evenings with family and friends. We talked about the sins of previous years…especially around failing to take the time to enjoy the holidays, and promised ourselves that this year would be different. We even kind of bragged about the wisdom and clarity that comes from advancing years (OK…this was really my advancing years), and essentially made a pact that we’d slow the clock long enough to really take in the magic of the coming season.

Well, this morning at about 2:35am my eyes opened abruptly and I immediately knew that would be no return to sleep. I began thinking that Christmas Eve was fifteen days away, and I’d yet to finish writing cards, or shop for any gifts, or take the time to even send emails (let alone cards) thanking folks for the thoughtful gifts, cards, lunches, Poinsettia plants, birthday celebrations, and other incredibly thoughtful things that have already come my way.

Worse, as the fog of slumber abated and I began to really cogitate, I dwelled on all that was left to do in the next few weeks, and thought even more about all the broken promises to meet a friend for a holiday lunch, or to grab a beer with a dear former work colleague, or to just sit on the couch for 15 minutes to gaze at the beauty of the tree.

Yesterday, while hurriedly walking back to work (after a nice but still too rushed lunch with a mentor and friend), I thought about the myriad of things that needed immediate attention back at the office. I began to stress about all that had to be done that afternoon, and none of it was even mildly connected to chestnuts, open fires, or any of the other things I dreamt about with my friends back in September. I even rudely dismissed a homeless person as he held out a styrofoam cup, and accelerated the pace of my gait in hopes of gaining a few extra minutes back at the office.

 

Sometime, in a period that will pass much quicker that the hours between right now (it’s 4:39 am EST) and tomorrow morning, I’ll blink and it will be Monday morning January 5^th.  It will likely be cold (really have no way of knowing that…just makes it more dramatic), and as I scrape the ice off my driver’s side windshield (won’t have time to do the passenger side) that dark post-holiday morning, I’ll glance up at the garland on the house and silently cuss the thought of taking down the decorations (the following Saturday when it will be even colder). Hopefully when I do they’ll still be plenty of ice on the car window because I won’t want to catch a glance of the aging man that’s managed to learn nothing…and has once again let another holiday season pass in blur.

Sadly, you’re not going to get much of value in these pages…but there is one repeated nugget that you really should heed. If you’re anything like me, slow the heck down and take time to relax. Life is so incredibly fragile, and the next couple weeks should be dedicated entirely to just chilling out and spending time with the family and friends that you love. Many of you won’t…and sadly…more pathetically really…I won’t either. Maybe though, we could all take a couple of minutes, and start this holiday Friday with a song.

Can’t though…just way too busy…

Just chill for a few minutes and close your eyes

BTW…sorry about all the misspellings and poor grammar (even Word is showing this as a sentence fragment). Would have loved to proof this thing…but I simply didn’t have the time.

...well actually, it's only Wednesday...and that makes today even better.

The first year I moved to the District of Columbia from California, I remember driving down Connecticut Ave to the IBEW Office at about 4:30am (I used to go to a nearby gym before work) on the day before Thanksgiving and the street was literally deserted.  The entire town seemed to be asleep, and as I crossed the Woodley Park bridge over Rock Creek, Michael Buble’s song “Home” began to play on the Wash, FM radio. I was so lonesome for Los Angeles, and I remember almost starting to cry when the haunting music started playing. Now, after living almost seven years on the east coast, I’m often amazed that no particular place feels like home…except maybe the few days every couple of years that I’m able to spend in North Dakota.

So, while I typically feel you can’t ever really go home again (especially when you’re not sure where it is), this past weekend I came pretty close. After spending the better part of the week at an IBEW conference in Las Vegas, I shot over to LA for the weekend and after years of being away, I was amazed at how much it felt like home.

I had a luggage nightmare when I arrived at LAX on Thursday evening, so I stayed by the airport on the Westside of town in the neighborhood where I grew up. The next morning I picked up an attorney colleague and dear friend at LAX (flew into LA for the MLS championship), and we cruised up to Malibu on Pacific Coast Highway to have lunch on the outside patio at an old haunt called Gladstones that literally sits right on the beach. After that, we shot up to the Pepperdine campus before turning around and heading back to Los Angeles.

We drove through West Los Angeles, and passed my elementary school in Cheviot Hills. We then cruised by the old house on Esther Avenue, the high school, the Beverly Hillcrest Hotel where we  had our (my wife and me…not the attorney) wedding my reception, through Beverly Hills where I had my first apartment and then through the mid-Whilshire District to downtown Los Angeles. That evening we went over to watch Dorsey High take on Fairfax High (where I coached for many years) in an inner-city playoff game at a field adjacent to the Dorsey campus. The police helicopters circling overhead before the game...only added to the atmosphere.

The next morning I checked out of the Wilshire Grand in downtown and drove west on the Santa Monica Freeway toward Beverly Hills. I met my friend Chuck at a Starbucks in Beverly Hills just north of my old apartment on Beverly Drive. As I sat there chatting with him and listening to Bing Crosby singing holiday songs while looking out the window (I was looking out the window…Bing was singing) at the intersection of Beverly and Charliville…I realized how familiar it all seemed. After saying goodbye to Chuck, I drove west bound on Wilshire towards Westwood passed the Diplomat (the first jobsite I was ever dispatched to as an electrical apprentice) and passed the UCLA campus where my short-lived Bruin football career crashed and burned in the ugliest of ways. As I entered the onramp to the northbound 405 toward the San Fernando Valley for the drive up to my mom’s place in Santa Paula, I realized that like it or not, Southern California really was home. Now however…it’s happily in DC…and as I drove up the 405 that morning, I couldn’t help but think how nice it would be to get back to the District.

With the litany of challenges, losses and setbacks facing so many, it's not always easy feel particularly thankful. However for the best of reasons, I'm hopeful you are able to find your own slice of holiday blessing. 

Not sure where you’re headed this Thanksgiving, nor whether or not you’ll even go over a river or through any woods. However whatever you’re doing and wherever you’re traveling, I hope get a break from the hustle and bustle to have some time to chill with family and friends. Whether it’s by a fire, sipping a glass of wine, or watching the palm trees sway in LA, have a wonderful and well-deserved holiday.

If you’re on the road, travel safely…we need to make sure you all make it home again.

Happy Thanksgiving

A Thanksgiving tune just for you...